|Stealing the Diamond|
July 11, 2011
The next scene shows Henry watching the museum from a cliff, then he has two choices:
- Bust in
- Sneak in
Bust in (Aggressive way)
Henry hops onto his scooter and starts riding right towards the museum. However, two guards see him, and then Henry has to decide how to get rid of them:
- Kick (fail) - Henry hits one of the guards, but bumps himself somewhere at the back. (Message: Well... You got one of the guards.)
- Jump (fail) - He jumps off the scooter which hits the guard but Henry goes so high in the air, that he comes back and destroys the museum door. (Message: Jumping off a speeding vehicle may not be the best idea...)
- Ram - Henry busts through the museum door, killing the guard, and then starts riding throughout the museum hallway.
- Do nothing (fail) - If nothing is clicked, he will crash into a wall at the back. (Message: Wow... You're off to a great start...)
Henry continues riding through the hallway, but three guards see him, and try to stop him. Henry can use:
- Lance (fail) - He takes the lance and points it to the ground. The lance launches Henry forward and he slides a few dozen feet on his face. (Message: Jousting. It's harder than it looks.)
- Mace (fail) - Henry brandishes his mace, which just gets stuck on a boat hanging from the ceiling and it pulls Henry up too. (Message: Stop hanging around and do something!)
- Do nothing (fail) - If Henry doesn't choose either option, he will be knocked off his scooter by a guard with his club. (Message: Good thing the janitors just got done buffing the floor. Could you imagine all the germs you'd be rolling in right now if they hadn't?)
Henry uses the shield to reflect the guards' bullets and the club and he safely goes through the blockade. Then he enters into the Tunisian Exhibition area, right to the diamond, awakening a sleeping guard in the process. An alarm gets activated, so Henry has to do something quickly. He can use:
- Basket (fail) - Henry opens the basket at his scooter, and puts the diamond in it, which is too heavy, so the scooter catapults Henry away. (Message: Ah, torque. I bet you wish you paid more attention in physics class now, huh?)
- Do nothing (fail) - If Henry waits and doesn't choose either choice, eventually he gets caught and arrested by museum guards. (Message: C'mon! You don't have time to just stand around...)
- Tow cable
Henry attaches a cable to the scooter and continues driving with the diamond behind him. Then Ted McAdams starts explaining to another guard the events of putting Winston Davis into prison and arresting him, and at that moment Henry bursts through the room and escapes through the back exit. Then as he takes to the road, he gets 2 stars, GTA style. Where a police car starts chasing him. Co-driver Johnny then takes the pistol and takes aim at Henry's head. Then he can take:
- Branch (fail)- Henry hoops on a tree branch thinking he has made a clean escape, only to realize he forgot to take the diamond with him. (Message: Didn't really think that one through, did ya?)
- Rock - Henry takes a rock from the road and hits Johnny in the head, who then falls off the car, so the driver calls reinforcements.
- Do nothing (fail)- Johnny shoots and kills him, and his partner driving says: "Good shot!" (Message: I can see all those hours of video game playing has really sharpened your reflexes. Oh wait...)
Henry gets 3 stars for his murderous efforts. A police helicopter comes and a sniper aims at Henry with his rifle.
- Sticky Grenade (fail)- He activates the grenade but fails to throw it as it ironically sticks to his hand then him and his scooter explodes. (Message: I always wondered how those things work.)
- Bubble - Henry activates the bubble on his scooter, which deflects the sniper's bullets.
- Do nothing (fail)- The sniper kills Henry by shooting him in the head, saying "Wave goodbye to your head, wanker!" (taken directly from the Sniper in Team Fortress 2) (Message: BOOM! Headshot.)
Then he drives into a tunnel so the helicopter can't continue chasing him. Then he finds at a dead end - he ends on a broken bridge where he can't drive any further. He has to stop, so the police ambush him. An officer, named James Lancelot tells him to put his hands in the air or he will be forced to shoot. To escape the situation, he can:
- Drive (fail)- Henry tries to drive right to the police; he doesn't even make two feet before officers open fire destroying him and his scooter. (Message: I don't think you're gonna get very far that way.)
- Bribe (fail)- He offers a bribe, but James tells him that bribery is a federal offense so he kills him with a slow motion headshot. The screen also turns black and white as Henry is shot. (Message: Strange... That usally works.)
- Do nothing (fail) If no choice is chosen James will open fire, killing Henry the same way like if Henry offered a bribe.(Message: Dude, do something!)
Henry pushes the diamond off the bridge, which is connected to his scooter, so he falls down with it. He finds himself beside a swamp, right next to the diamond. Then he starts celebrating his victory. This is the Aggressive Way.
Henry gets near the museum wall. To get in, he can use:
- Shrink Ray (fail)- Henry shrinks himself, but gets attacked by a giant worm. (Message: Man, worms are so much vicious up close!)
- Liquidificator (fail)- Henry activates the liquidificator, and turns into an unknown blue liquid and spills himself on the grass. (Message: What did you think was going to happen?)
- Pick - Henry uses a pick to break the wall. He does it slowly, but then a Creeper (green monster from Minecraft game) appears on his back, explodes, and destroys the wall, giving Henry a way in.
- Gun (fail)- Henry gets a Sten submachine gun, without bullets, so he fails to shoot them. (Message: Quick! Pretend you were joking!)
- Bomb (fail)- He throws a bomb to Dave's leg, who starts screaming, and the other security guard quickly fires at him. (Message: Why would they keep live bombs in a museum?)
- Airplane - Henry flies a Stuka plane and hits the other guard's head, knocking him out.
- Do nothing (fail) - If Henry doesn't do anything, but instead keeps listening to the conversation, the guards eventually notice him. This is the only quick time event in the Sneak In playthrough. (Message: That conversation can't be THAT interesting.)
Dave gets scared and starts running, crashing into a column. Henry then has to pass the sleeping guard to get into the grand exhibit area. He can go straight, at Retro area, and right, to grand exhibit area.
- Right (fail)- He runs, but gets spotted by a guard. (Message: Hm. Must be a light sleeper.)
- Straight - Henry runs forward, fortunately not waking the guard.
- Metroid (fail)- Henry releases the metroid, but it kills him instead of obeying him. (Message: Looks like they don't take kindly to orders.)
- Crowbar (fail)- Henry slowly reaches for the crowbar, but a bunch of headcrabs fall on him, leading it to a fail. (Message: Why does that ALWAYS happen?)
- Pokeball (Later: Greatball) (fail)- A Pokemon battle starts with Henry fighting Joe. Henry sends out Missingno, the glitched Pokemon. Suddenly the game goes crazy, a lot of pop ups appear, then leading to a BSOD (Message: 01100110 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01101101 01101001 01110011 01110011 01101001 01101110 01100111 01101110 01101111 . Editor's note: It reads "Fear Missingno" in binary code.).
Henry touches the super mushroom from Super Mario Brothers, turning him into a giant. As he enters the room, Joe starts shooting Henry. However, because of his size, the bullets just bounce off Henry. He also wakes up a baby dinosaur in the museum, who attacks a nearby guard. Suddenly he gets shot by a cannon and returns to his normal size. It starts getting chaotic in the grand exhibit, so the news of the chaos reaches the CCC. Then, as a CCC member, you have to make a choice between four buttons:
- Divide by 0 button (fail)- A calculator falls in front of Henry, he picks it up. And a mechanical hand presses the buttons, showing "1337", which means L33T. Suddenly, it divides to zero. Finally, the building collapses, presumably killing Henry (probably everyone). (Message: Sorry, I just went to the bathroom. What'd I mi-Where'd...Where is everybody?)
- Nuke button (fail)- The nuke is activated CoD: MW2 Style, Henry does nothing. As the countdown reaches 0, the entire city is nuked. (Message: Don't feel too bad, he probably camped for the 25 killls he needed to get that nuke.)
- Satellite button (fail)- The satellite with a Shoop Da Whoop face charges up and destroys the entire city with its huge laser. (Message: I couldn't resist.)
- Gear Button - The CCC member presses the button. A robot crashed onto the museum building, and starts to destroy the building. Henry has no choice but to run away from the chaos. Then, Henry made it out and relieved. The diamond suddenly lands beside him. He puts his foot on the diamond, and looks at the sky, dramatically. This is the Epic Way.
Henry wants to sneak in by going UP the building. He can use:-
- Jumble Hoppers (fail)- He jumps up, but couldn't reach the ledge; when he lands, he is bounced away from the wall, doing a flip in a process, and falls into a nearby river. 2 points are deducted. (Message: Sweet flip, bro.)
- Anti-gravity cap (fail)- He presses the button on the cap, he floats up. When he reaches the top, he tries to disable his cap, but couldn't. He ends up floating all the way up to the air. (Message: You're lucky! I've always wanted to go to space!)
- Teleporter - Henry presses the buttons and teleports onto the roof of the museum. This is the only time the teleporter actually works.
Henry hides behind a ventilation fan. There's a guard standing nearby the entrance to the top of the exhibition room. Henry can use:
- Tranquilizer (fail)- Henry fires his tranquilizer, the guard narrowly avoided the needle when he stretches and yawn. The needle bounces inside the doorway a few times, and then hits Henry's chin. (Message: Woah! What are the odds of that?!)
- Falcon Punch (fail)- Henry jumps in front of the guard, and attempts to use the Falcon Punch, but he fails to unleash it. The guard catches him by aiming his pistol at him. (Message: Only one man is capable of the Falcon Punch.)
- Invisibility Pill (fail)- Henry swallows the pill, and goes invisible. The guard can hear audible footsteps, and then a scream, denoting the fact that Henry had fallen off. This is due to the hard truth of what would happen if someone actually went invisible: Invisibility works by refracting light so that none of it hits the user. Since this includes their eyes, which need light to function, they go completely blind while invisible. (Message: It's hard to see when you're invisible, no?)
- Penny: Henry tosses the penny beside the guard. The guard looks at it and says: "Oh, look, a penny." The second the guard was distracted, letting Henry pass by.
Henry darts into the doorway. Later, Henry is seen on top of a walkway, and the diamond is below him. He can use:
- Drop (fail)- Henry jumps down normally, and he hits the glass casing of the diamond and hit the ground, alerting the alarm in the process. (Message: Did you really think that was going to work?)
- Portal Gun (fail)- He fires the blue portal beneath the diamond, and fires the orange one on the ceiling. The weight of the diamond was so heavy, it destroys the walkway, taking Henry with it. Henry falls into the blue portal and appears on the top and falls again. He ends up falling endlessly. The narrator then tells us about Portal Gun science.
- Wire - He straps the wire to the guard rail, and himself. He jumps down and he lands. He is in front of the diamond, he can use either:-
- Laser Cutter (fail)- Henry puts the laser cutter on the the glass casing, and tries to cut the casing. The cutter malfunctions a bit and cuts Henry instead, splitting him in two. (Message: U GET CUT! Y U NO BLEED?! At the bottom of screen upside down: A: The laser cauterized it.)
- Hammer - Henry lightly touches the hammer onto the glass casing. The glass casing turns into dust and Henry carries the diamond.
He sees Ted McAdams and another guard in front of him. He decided to sneak by them, he can use:
- Cannon (fail)- Henry climbs into the cannon with the diamond, the cannon falls to the ground, Henry falls out. He pushes the cannon slightly upwards and climbed in headfirst, and the cannon falls again. Henry is fired to the exit, but he crashes into the door instead. (Message: You almost saved it. Almost.)
- Cheese (fail)- Henry eats the cheese; nothing happens. (Message: Wha-W... Why? ...Seriously...?
- Plank - He catapults himself with the plank and lands on a cushion near the exit.
Next to him, Ted McAdams and the random guard surprisingly, don't notice him. He exits the building and he is on top of a short flight of stairs. And there's a guard on the side of the stairs, taking a smoke. Henry can either:
- Snap Neck (fail)- Henry attempts to jump down and snap the guard's neck, but the ledge was so narrow, he falls down the same flight of stairs. (Message: I told you man. I TOLD you about stairs!)
- Rifle (fail)- Henry dives for the rifle, and aims at the guard. He open fires but all the bullets miss the guard, resulting in a fail. (Message: Man those first person shooters make it look so easy.)
- Jump (fail)- Henry holds on to the diamond. And he leaps for the tree in slow motion with dramatic music playing, and the weight of the diamond ends up weighing him down, falling to the ground. (Message: I'm surprised you made it that far with that heavy diamond.)
- Diamond - He grabs the diamond and drops it on the guard's head, killing him.
He jumps down, and looks at the diamond with a smile. The ending shows him enjoying his rich life. This is the Undetected Way.
- The Lolwut Pear Portrait is a reference to the meme of the meme of the same name.
- The Mah Boi Portrait is also a reference to a meme.
- During the Aggressive Ending, one of the night guards will be complaining about their job as a bank truck driver. This is, of course, the same driver from the first game.
- The achievement "D6" is referring to the dice roll from the tabletop RPG D&D.
- The Teleporter is the same machine from the first two games.
- The Falcon Punch is referring to the famous move done by Captain Falcon.
- The Portal Gun is the weapon from the hit puzzle game, Portal.
- tl;dr is internet slang for "Too long; don't read".
- The failure screen for Laser Cutter is a nod to a famous meme.
- The fail sequence for Snap Neck a reference to an intentionally terrible webcomic where Hella Jeff warns Sweet Bro about stairs.
- When using the Pick, the wall is mined in a vein similar to that of the sandbox game, Minecraft.
- There is also a Creeper, which is an enemy from the same game.
- A night guard is talking with another night guard about a certain prisoner's escape involving him forgetting to check a package. This is probably Dave from the second installment.
- In the retro room, there are a few things referencing gaming:
- There is a portrait of "No U Luigi". It is a reference to an obscure meme.
- There is apparently a Metroid in the room, which is a creature from the game series of the same name.
- There is an Item Box from the Mario Kart series.
- Another Item in the room is a Crowbar which, when attempting to obtain it, causes some Headcrabs to fall from the Half-Life series.
- An item in the room is a Pokeball, an item used to trap the titular monsters in the game series Pokemon.
- When using the item, it enters a battle reminiscent of Pokemon FireRed.
- A reference to the Super Mario series is present in the form of the Super Mushroom.
- When confronting the corporal, the General mentions that the chaos level is over 9. This is a reference to the Over 9000.
- When the corporal says "pressing situation", he puts on sunglasses, referencing the Horatio joke in CSI: Miami.
- If you use one of the failure buttons, the moon turns out to be an Shoop da Woop face.
- If you use one of the failure buttons, it is a reference to a meme where everything's gone